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Which Olympians tend to be happier, those who win silver medals or bronze? The answer might surprise you, and the underlying reasons point toward actions anyone can take to respond successfully to disappointment in the workplace.
At the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver, Russian figure skater Evegni Plushenko won the silver medal in men’s figure skating, but he wasn’t happy about it. He complained, criticized and generally was in a huff about coming in second to U.S. figure skater Evan Lysacek.
When Second Place is the First Loser, Third Place is the Second Winner
As a sour second-placer, Plushenko isn’t alone. Research by Thomas Gilovich from Cornell and others has shown a significant tendency for Olympic bronze medalists to be happier than silver medal winners.
One reason has to do with silver medalists tending to compare themselves “upward” with gold medal winners. They think about how close they were to coming in first place instead of second.
In contrast, bronze medalists tend to compare themselves “downward” with everyone who didn’t get a medal. They think about how fortunate they are to be in the elite class of medalists for their event, instead of leaving the Olympics with nothing tangible to show for it, after years of effort and sacrifice.
From the Olympics to the Office: Dealing with Disappointment
These emotional and attitudinal tendencies have implications beyond the Olympics, and beyond athletics. The counterintuitive silver-bronze dynamic characterizes something to which everyone can relate: dealing with disappointment. We all run into situations where things don’t go as we planned or hoped, and we get upset about coming up short.
Here’s the core issue: When you suffer disappointment in the workplace, how can you avoid falling into a motivational downturn that hurts your performance and might even damage your relationships or reputation?
What Ohno Knows: Focus on Gain not Loss
Silver medal winners often focus on what they lose. Bronze winners focus on what they gain. This is why bronze beats silver in happiness.
But there are exceptions to this rule, which remind us about the crucial leverage we have to manage our response to disappointment.
As a prominent example, and continuing with the Olympic theme, U.S. speed skater Apolo Anton Ohno bucks the sulky-second trend.
Ohno set a record this year for the most Olympic medals won by a speedskater. Between this year’s competition in Vancouver, and the 2006 winter Olympics in Turino he has won a combined total of eight medals. Most of them, however, have not been gold.
In Turino, Ohno was heralded as one of the top multi-gold medal prospects for the U.S. team. Because he was a favorite to win early events, the media buildup prior to the Olympics was skewed toward expecting him to be upset about not winning a gold medal, as he failed to take first place in one event after another. The first question he was asked on camera, after coming in second in his initial competition in Turino, was “Are you disappointed you didn’t win gold?”
Ohno knew better than to fall into the trap of comparing himself “upward” to the “winner.” He didn’t focus on loss. Far from disappointment, his response was exuberance. He spoke about how he competed hard, gave it his best shot, and was thrilled to come out with a medal. He was excited and proud. He focused on what he gained from the experience. He did not allow the interviewer’s question or anyone else’s opinion to undermine his happiness in the moment or his momentum going into his next race.
From “Coulda Been” to “Am & Gonna Be”
In short, Ohno focused on gain, not loss. This made him feel better in the moment, and also enabled him to move on energetically to the next challenge. So should we all. Ohno resisted the temptation to listen to the “interviewers” in life and within ourselves who entice us to dwell on our disappointments and indulge a dysfunctional storyline that echoes Marlon Brando’s memorable words from the movie On The Waterfront, about how we “coulda been a contender.”
Because Ohno focused on what he gained from the experience, rather than obsessing about what he lost, he positioned himself much more effectively to win multiple medals. That he did. Eight so far, and counting.
Action Tool: Gear Up for Gain
Next time you find yourself upset or frustrated in your workplace interactions, do what Ohno does. Don’t compare yourself to people whose situations will distress and de-motivate you. Instead, find ways to appreciate what you have learned or gained. Don’t take it for granted. Even during difficult times, it is likely that at least you have learned something—something about your strategy, your tactics or something about yourself. What have you added to your experience, or seen differently, or been motivated to try? Think less about what you have lost, and more about what you have learned and gained.
Anyone can pout like Plushenko when things go wrong. Don’t do it. Instead, act like Apolo. It’s a better strategy in the moment of loss, and more likely to gear you up for future gain.
