Real Influence – How to Persuade Without Pushing and Gain Without Giving In

Written by Dr. U   

Real Influence – How to Persuade Without Pushing and Gain Without Giving In

Over two years and 100+ interviews with highly reputable influencers in the making, I’m very proud to announce my next book, coauthored with Mark Goulston MD. It already has been selected as one of the 30 Best Books in Business for 2013 by Soundview Executive Book Summaries (the premier executive book summary company).

The publishing arm of the American Management Association is presenting it as their lead book of 2013, released in January.

Real Influence: Persuade without Pushing and Gain without Giving In focuses on how to influence in ways that strengthen your results, relationships and reputation.

Here are some of the early testimonials:

“REAL INFLUENCE is literally going to change your life.  It will vastly improve all your interactions and relationships, both professionally and personally.  This book is the “secret sauce” to optimal influence—and an absolute must read.”

David T. Feinberg, MD, MBA
President, UCLA Health System

“REAL INFLUENCE is just what you need, whether you want to influence a boss, a peer, a subordinate, your spouse, your parent or your kid. It is the antidote to the push-back you get from people whenever they perceive you as being too pushy.”

Marshall Goldsmith
Author of What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There, WSJ
#1 business book and award winning Business Book of the Year

“With a wealth of relevant research, compelling examples and straightforward actionable tactics and advice, Goulston and Ullmen have created an incredibly valuable resource for improving one’s ability to influence and positively impact others.  This book isn’t just good for your business, it’s good for your life!”

Heidi Roizen
Venture Partner, Draper Fisher Jurvetson
Entrepreneurship Educator, Stanford University

“REAL INFLUENCE is the right book at the right time.  Today’s fast-paced, hectic world finds most people pulled in several different directions at once and the last thing they want is to be pushed—what they ache for is to be influenced by someone they can trust who puts them first and who they can lower their guard with.  In these pages, Goulston and Ullmen offer you the ultimate formula to be that person and, if he were still with us, Dale Carnegie would likely smile and nod in agreement that this book offers one of the absolute best ways to ‘make friends and influence people.’”

Ivan Misner, Ph.D., NY Times Bestselling Author and Founder of BNI®

“With deep insights from an array of industries and fields, Goulston and Ullmen lay out a most impactful road-map to making significant, positive impacts on one’s organization, personal life, and society.”

Amir Dan Rubin
President and CEO
Stanford Hospital & Clinics

“Don’t settle for persuading a few people for a short period of time, when you can influence many for a lifetime.  This book will help you become the influential person that anyone would want to follow.”

Keith Ferrazzi
Author of Never Eat Alone and Who’s Got Your Back

Here’s an overview of the book on the publisher’s webiste:

Overview of Real Influence

No manipulation, no capitulation—how to bring true influence to everything you do.

People won’t put up with being “sold” anymore. If they sense they are being pushed, their guard goes up—and even if they do comply, lingering resentment undermines the relationship…maybe forever.

Yet, most books on influence still portray it as something you “do to” someone else to get your way. That out-of-date approach invites resistance or cynicism from those who recognize the techniques. Manipulative tactics might occasionally wear down a colleague’s or client’s resistance, but they fail to produce the mutual trust that sustains successful relationships. In short, they just won’t work in our sophisticated, post-selling world.

In this groundbreaking book, authors Mark Goulston and John Ullmen reveal a new model for authentic influence—the kind that creates a strong initial connection and survives long after agreement has been reached. Based on listening, genuine engagement and commitment to win-win outcomes, Real Influence provides a powerful four-step method you can use to:

• Examine your priorities
• Learn about the key players and what they need
• Earn their attention and motivate them to hear more
• Add value with your questions and actions

Complete with examples of the steps in action and insights from real-world “power influencers,” this one-of-a-kind guide shows that being straight with everyone means winning for all.

Click here to check it out on

Please help us spread the word to friends and colleagues, or to leave a review on—thank you!

Do you have any other thoughts or questions? Add a comment below!

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Jens Kürschner March 17 at 3:20 am

Congratulations on your new masterpiece!
You did an excellent job, translating your leadership philosophy into an easy to read handbook.
I love it and also try to spread the word (in Germany)!

(I already wrote a (German) blog post about it:

Dr. U March 20 at 11:39 pm

Thanks so much Jens–I really appreciate it! I hope all’s well with you. I’m hoping to continue interviewing and writing about lots of positive influencers from all walks of life.

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