Even when you know nothing about a cross-cultural colleague’s country and background, there are seven words you can use to ignite rapport and collaboration.
I was reminded of this on a trip I took recently to Colorado with my friend Brian Adams. With twenty years of experience working in over ten countries throughout Africa, Europe, North America and Asia-Pacific, Brian is an authority on cross-cultural collaboration. Based on his research and experience he is writing a book with the working title Collaboration in a Globalizing World: The Power of the Cultural Paradigm.
One of the points Brian emphasizes is the positive effect that comes from learning other languages, even in small portions.
In a modest but illuminating way, Brian demonstrated this to me when we stopped for lunch in Colorado Springs at a Middle Eastern restaurant called the Arabica Café.
After we entered, the gentleman behind the counter welcomed us and asked for our order. I prepared to indicate my choice but Brian spoke first, and with more social grace than I would have done. He recognized from the man’s accent that English was not his native language. Smiling, Brian told him the food looked and smelled excellent, and then greeted him warmly in Arabic: “Salaam aleik!”
I rely here on Brian’s rendering of the Arabic in this conversation. I rely on my own observations, however, in seeing how the man’s face lit up and how happy he appeared when being addressed in his native language. Enthusiastically, he returned the greeting: “Wa-aleikum issalaam.”
Brian learned the gentleman’s name was Kamel, and that he was born in Lebanon and raised in Egypt. He asked how Brian knew Arabic.
“Ana tikelim bil-‘arabiya.” Brian said he studied in university and found Arabic to be a beautiful, poetic language. He learned more over the years while living in a few countries where Arabic was spoken.
Kamel took our lunch orders, and Brian said thank you: “Shukran.”
“’Afwan,” replied Kamel.
Probably due to the rapport Brian established with Kamel, a woman soon came to our table and left an entrée of falafel and hummus for us to share. “Compliments of the manager,” she said.
Because Brian was able to connect with Kamel on his own terms, with his own terms, what would otherwise have been a routine transaction instead turned into an enjoyable and memorable event.
There is a lesson here for all of us. When you take the time to learn another person’s language, particularly when you are in the majority culture and their language is not widely spoken, you pay a great compliment and grant noteworthy respect to the other person.
Though we might lack the diverse cultural experience and language skills that Brian has gained, we can still take positive, impactful action by using the seven most important words for cross-cultural collaboration.
Here they are: “In your language, how do you say…?”
Then continue with items such as these:
How to say their name properly in their native language.
How to say hello and offer a proper greeting.
How to say thank you and that you appreciate your time with them.
How to offer a proper farewell, when your interaction comes to a close.
Even if you do not know a syllable of your cross-cultural colleague’s language, you can learn by using those seven key words.
Write down what you learn, and keep using the phrases. Ask your counterpart to correct your pronunciation. Whether the person is a teammate, a customer, a vendor—any sort of business associate—make the effort to connect with them in their own language.
Even if you get it wrong, they will appreciate the respect and the effort you are making.
It’s simple, it’s fun, and it breaks down walls.
Speaking of walls separating people, an indelible example of using another language to connect is John F. Kennedy’s inspiring address to the people of West Berlin on June 26, 1963. At that time the Cold War was raging, and the Berlin Wall recently had been built, separating Communist-controlled East Berlin from free West Berlin. In what might be the biggest crowd in history ever to assemble for such an event, over a million people gathered to hear the U.S. President’s message.
One can easily access online video and audio of the speech. If you watch, you will see that a key to Kennedy’s rapport with the audience—and impetus for the most enthusiastic applause and cheering from the crowd—is when he speaks to the people of Berlin in German.
Kennedy was not perfect in his pronunciation. Twice in the speech he says: “Ich bin ein Berliner.” His intention was to express, “I too am a Berliner.” He wanted to convey the sentiment that he stood with them for freedom against the threat of oppression so near at hand.
But Kennedy famously made a subtle mistake when pronouncing those words, because “Berliner” in German can also refer to a certain kind of pastry. Instead of expressing that he was in spirit like them—a freedom loving native of Berlin—what Kennedy actually said was: “I too am a jelly doughnut.”
The crowd understood what he meant to say, and in their applause they expressed exuberance at his attempt to speak in a way that would be most meaningful to them.
So if you prefer, those may serve as an alternative six most important words for cross-cultural collaboration: “I too am a jelly doughnut.”
Whatever it takes for you to remember to learn and use meaningful expressions in your counterpart’s language, do it. Your collaboration will improve, even if your pronunciation doesn’t.
